hugging when two people have boobs is basically playing boob tetris.
do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.
Me: *at a white persons house*
Friend: my moms making dinner.. Spaghetti with ketchup
Me: my mom said I gotta come home right now immediately
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
the true gay icons
ive been waiting for these gifs together in one set my whole life
I JUST FOUND COMEDIC GOLD ON A PORN WEBSITE OMFG
I WAS LOOKING UP PORN TO SHOW MY ROOMMATE WHO JAMES DEEN IS AND I FOUND A GUY WHO CALLS HIMSELF LIMERICK LARRY AND HE WRITES POEMS ABOUT THE PORN VIDEOS
I CAN’T BREATHE
I dunno, just laying face down on the couch and waiting for some baby boomers to die, I guess